Grief

Who said their are 5 stages of grief. Grief is a manifestation of love and why would we want to move through and release our love for someone?



The stages of dying and grief are recognized as the same—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But grief turns out not to be so simple. Studies show that grievers don’t progress through these stages in a lock-step fashion. Consequently, when any of us loses someone we love, we may find that we fit the stages precisely or we may skip all but one. We may race through them or drag our feet all the way to acceptance. We may even repeat or add stages. In fact, the actual grief process looks a lot less like a neat set of stages and a lot more like a roller coaster of emotions. Grief doesn’t proceed in a linear and predictable fashion.


The unfortunate side effect of our society’s erroneous but firm belief in the five stages is that many people wind up criticizing themselves for "not doing grief right.” When people buy into the idea that there’s only one healthy way to grieve, then it’s easy for them to attack themselves when they naturally find that they're doing it differently. This kind of self-criticism never helps anyone. Even if the stages aren’t exactly gospel, there are three important lessons, no matter what our unique grief process may be like.


Lesson 1: A Little Denial Is Natural

Denial is the brain’s way of “dosing” itself. Just as medicine is good for us, fully facing the reality that a loved one has died is ultimately good for us. But too much medicine too quickly can cause unpleasant side effects. Similarly, being forced to confront difficult grief-related emotions all at once can be unnecessarily painful.


Denial is the brain’s way of making sure that we don’t get too high a dose of grief before we’re ready. The brain naturally gives us “denial breaks.” These breaks allow us to relax, regroup, and ready ourselves for the difficult feelings we must inevitably face.


Denial becomes unhealthy only when it’s unshakeable. In such cases, people sometimes fail to face their grief. Taking a temporary breather from grief to watch a movie, have a distracting